After years of being compared to just about every ugly bald celebrity on earth, 37-year-old Watsonia man, Brett Stephens, has finally had enough. Following a solid 30-minute ribbing from his mates at a family BBQ on Sunday, Stephens erupted in a chair-kicking, sausage-throwing rage, before quickly loading his wife and kids into the car and leaving.

Those left at the BBQ were in shock. Close friend, Rob Barrock, said “it’s like it just came out of nowhere, I mean we hang a bit on him about being bald, but he’s never blown up like that before”.

In an exclusive interview with The Watsonia Bugle yesterday, Stephens said “I’m just really sick of the constant comparisons to ugly bald celebrities. It’s so lazy on my mates’ behalf. I’ve had them all over the years… Carl Barron, Uncle Fester, Peter Garrett, Dr Evil, Moby, pale Shrek. I mean, I’m in reasonable shape for an old bloke, and I surfed a bit back in the 90s, so why don’t any of them ever compare me to Kelly Slater? It’s rubbish!”

In response, Barrock, who hadn’t spoken to Stephens since the incident, said “Oh, he’s kidding himself isn’t he? He said he surfed a bit? More like boogie boarded in between the flags. And besides, he looks more like Mick Martyn than Kelly Slater.”

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