Have you ever wondered how a toddler’s behaviour would go down if they were actually an adult housemate in a share house? We certainly have, and that’s why we can now present to you 10 things that toddlers do that would make them the world’s worst housemates. In the list below, each time you read the word “housemate”, try to picture a full-grown adult male with dark scruffy hair and eyes that just look straight through you.
1 Each year, your housemate requests an all expenses paid birthday party with food, drinks, decorations and entertainment for him and a dozen of his closest friends.
2 Your housemate is constantly bumming lifts off you, and never offers to drive, or pay for petrol.
3 In the middle of the night, your housemate comes running into your room, dives into your bed and wedges himself in between you and your significant other. He spends the remainder of the night in your bed, occasionally elbowing and kneeing you, as well as sleeping on either a diagonal or horizontal plane.
4 Your housemate is constantly requesting your Netflix password.
5 Your housemate not only loudly requests that you wipe their bottom after they’ve done poo, but they also request that you stand guard for any potential spiders in the cubicle whilst they are doing the aforementioned poo.
6 Your housemate lies naked on his back and demands that you dress him because he “don’t feel like it today”.
7 During the countdown to Christmas, your housemate eats every single chocolate from the Advent calendar without ever offering one to you, even though you paid for it.
8 You go down to the park on a Sunday to have a kick of the footy and on the way back your housemate says, “I’m tired, can you carry me home?”
9 You cook dinner for your housemate but he arrives to the table late, looks at what you’ve produced, screws up his nose, says “Nah, I don’t like that”, moves away from the dinner table and proceeds to play with his toys on the floor.
10 In the middle of the night your housemate screams out like he’s being abducted, you run in to presumably rescue him from an intruder but to see him safely in his bed but with his doona slightly off his chest. He says, “Tuck me in”. Then he requests that you sit on the end of his bed while he goes back to sleep, but tells you off if you look at him.
So there it is, the top 10 ways that actually make your toddler a terrible housemate. Lucky they’re such adorable little bundles of joy and we love them so much right?