Rudolph the red nosed reindeer has lifted the lid on what he described as “systematic bullying” amongst his fellow reindeers, also claiming that Santa was often willing to turn a blind eye to it all as long as everyone’s presents were delivered on time each Christmas. In an exclusive interview with The Watsonia Bugle, Rudolph has spoken for the first time about the psychological impact of the constant bullying from his colleagues, also pointing out how the famous song named after him has only exacerbated the pain he experiences every time he thinks about his former career as a magical sleigh pulling reindeer.

Rudolph, who told us that his bright red nose is a genetic defect that afflicts roughly 0.06% of the world’s reindeer population, said that the bullying from the other reindeers began in his first week on the job at the North Pole, and continued to his very last day. He said, “Of course there was the laughing and the name calling, which has been well documented, but the worst part was the exclusion from group activities, even Monopoly. It wasn’t even like being the last picked in the schoolyard… I just wasn’t picked at all!”

In a rather damning statement about Santa’s management skills and his HR department, Rudolph claims that Santa turned a blind eye to the bullying, and ignored numerous requests to do something about the behaviour of the other reindeers. But Rudolph said Santa’s evasiveness towards the issue quickly changed on that infamous foggy Christmas Eve when all of a sudden Santa found use for the least popular member of his herd.

While Rudolph was happy to finally receive some recognition and kudos, he said the change in attitude towards him was kind of sickening. He said, “All of a sudden Santa was all like ‘Oh Rudolph, you’re the best mate. Thanks so much Rudolph.’ And the other reindeers were like, ‘We love you Rudolph, sorry for all those nasty things we said about you’. But I was just like, too late guys, you should’ve tried this back when I first started here.”

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