A local drinker has expressed his dismay over the “fandangled can holder thingos” on certain craft beers as he dips his toe into the world of brews beyond CUB. Chris Campbell made the controversial comments to friends over the weekend as he plucked a four-pack out of the esky and tried in vain to liberate a single can from the vice like grip of the modern holders.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Campbell said, “I don’t know what they’re playing at but I just don’t like it. I nearly sliced the top of me finger off last week trying to get a can off them bloody holders. It’s a nightmare mate.”

Campbell even went as far as to suggest that the packaging was an elaborate attempt to drive beer prices even higher. He said, “I read that article you blokes wrote about the brewer who admitted that non twist top beer lids were an excuse to put prices up. I bet they say these can holders are some way of saving the dolphins or something. I call bullshit. It’s just another way of making their beers seem more fancy.”