A recently released study out of a local university has indicated that people who eat meat pies without sauce are actually dead set psychos. The study, entitled “UnAustralianism: What does it actually mean?”, studied the dining habits of thousands of Australians and, somewhat surprisingly, found a common psychological thread between all those who abstained from tomato sauce on their scorching hot meat pies.

Lead researcher from the study, Ted Reynolds, told The Watsonia Bugle, “The common thread was totally unexpected and, to be honest, had nothing to do the aims of the study. However, it was quite interesting, and could now be the subject of further investigation. I mean, anecdotally we assumed it was the case anyway, but it’s quite interesting to receive scientific evidence of the fact.”

While the findings could solely be seen as an opportunity to criticise your non-saucing friends, Reynolds suggested that they could also provide the avenue for quick and easy character testing. He said, “Testing for psychopaths is normally quite a complex process, but we could potentially change all of that by just handing people a meat pie and then offering them tomato sauce. It would completely revolutionise the testing.”

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