A local man is reportedly preparing to disappoint his family yet again with a typically outlandish drinking display on Christmas Eve. Despite over a decade of continual misdemeanours, Daniel Hamilton claims that getting absolutely stonkered the night before Christmas is a “beloved tradition” and just reward for a long year of hard work and daily toil.
Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hamilton said, “Mate, it’s the best time of the year, I’ve knocked of work for a couple of weeks, I’m reasonably pissfit after a full month of Christmas parties, and it’s the perfect opportunity to let me hair down. It’s just a few beers with me mates to toast the year. Last time I checked, that wasn’t a crime.”
However, Hamilton’s mother Janice begged to differ, countering her youngest son’s claims by suggesting that one more booze-fuelled Christmas Eve and he wouldn’t be invited to Christmas lunch next year. Janice said, “He’s in his 30s now, I mean, it’s time to show some maturity. Every bloody year he keeps talking about ‘letting the dogs out’ and tells everyone how great a time Christmas is. I’ll tell you what a great time is: not having your drunk adult son turn up to Midnight Mass and loudly singing the wrong words to my favourite Christmas carols. It’s embarrassing.”