A troubling amount of people don’t know the difference between writing “apart” and “a part”, despite the two terms having drastically different meanings. A recent study conducted by a local university elevated the problem to “extreme vigilance” level, with one expert claiming the increased use of social media over the last decade or so has given “semi-illiterate fools the power to publish written content that is seen by large volumes of equally stunted people”.

While the researchers behind the study refused to give exact data on the issue currently plaguing newsfeeds, they insisted that after scanning and processing over 100,000 social media posts, the misuse of “a part” and “apart” was clearly the most concerning abuse of the English language. They also said that the problem was particularly prevalent amongst professional athletes on Instagram, with many taking to the social media platform to declare how happy and proud they are to be “apart” of their club or organisation – leading to some very stressful moments for coaches, teammates and managers.

Local linguist Nancy Nelson said she wasn’t surprised by the damning results of the study, telling The Watsonia Bugle, “That particular misuse has been on the decline for a while now, but has definitely been accelerated by the advent of social media. Facebook and Instagram, and other such platforms, have essentially given semi-illiterate fools the power to publish written content that is seen by large volumes of equally stunted people. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but this is basically the beginning of the end of our civilisation. And I’m not sure whether I want to be a part of it.”