A light-weight binge drinker living in Watsonia North has accused his local Milk Bar of false advertising. Jon Pascoe made the controversial claim late yesterday, after contacting The Watsonia Bugle to publicly ask why the store has a large sign saying ‘Lolly Beverage’ out the front, but doesn’t actually sell ready-to-drink alcoholic beverages.

In a lengthy interview, Pascoe said, “This is manifestly unfair, and surely contravenes the legislation around advertising in this country. Sometimes I run short on my supply of Cruisers and Lemon Ruskis, and I just wish my corner store stocked them. Obviously liquor licensing probably prevents them from selling booze in the Watsy North area but, if that’s the case, just remove the sign! It’s false advertising.”

When asked if he’d simply misunderstood the syntax of the sign that was most likely just broadcasting the separate availability of lollies and beverages, Pascoe refused to back down. He said, “Nah mate, no way. That sign clearly says ‘Lolly Beverage’, but they don’t stock Vodka Cruisers. What’s going on? Not even a Bacardi Breezer! This is genuinely outrageous.”