A local bogan has annihilated his annual “Breakfast Beam” in preparation for Bathurst Sunday, combining the potent premix beverage with his morning Weet-Bix. Darryl Hamlin was up early this morning for his favourite day of the year, telling The Watsonia Bugle that while this year’s event wouldn’t be the same due to the COVID-enforced lockdown, he wasn’t about to turn his back on decades of tradition.

In an exclusive interview, Hamlin said, “Oh yeah mate, this is the day. Forget the AFL Grand Final and Cup Day, the greatest day on the Australian sporting calendar is Bathurst. I’ve been up there a few times meself, breathing in those delicious fumes on the hill there, but mostly I just have a few mates around for a barbie and we get real maggot.”

As for the odd beverage choice at the breakfast table, Hamlin said it started as a dare back in the late-90s, and was now a non-negotiable part of the day. He said, “You can’t break with tradition, mate. It’s bad luck. Plus it’s the only day in the year when the missus doesn’t go crook at me for drinking before midday. I don’t think she approves of it, but she’s just got sick of challenging me about it. It’s Bathurst mate. Holden versus Ford. You beauty.”