A ground-breaking study out of a local university has confirmed that food is more attracted to white t-shirts than clothing of any other colour. The scientifically backed conclusion finally confirms years of anecdotal evidence and people telling each other, “Look at me, I just can’t be trusted wearing a white t-shirt!”

Lead researcher in the study, Professor Leroy Fleming, told The Watsonia Bugle, “The final results were quite staggering really. I pretty much launched the study to debunk the theory that white t-shirts attract more mess than t-shirts of any other colour. Anecdotally that was what I’d been hearing since I was a kid, but now we actually have scientific data to support it. As a scientist I’m rarely surpirsed by things, but I was truly shocked by this.”

Professor Fleming said that the study involved over 1000 participants and covered people in all social settings, including such challenging environments as fine dining, eating Maccas while driving, juggling finger food and drinks at a cocktail style function, spoon feeding infants, and slurping spaghetti like some gutter hound from Lady and the Tramp. And while the study did manage to confirm the almost magnetic ability of white clothing to attract stray food scraps, it failed to uncover exactly why this phenomenon exists. According to Professor Fleming, “That would probably be best explored in a further study on the topic. If we can unlock that riddle, it could be an incredibly profitable discovery.”

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