A local selfie-hunter got a little more than he bargained for at Tuesday’s Melbourne Cup, after his insatiable desire to be photographed with celebrities resulted in him being splashed all over a major tabloid news service. Diamond Valley identity Timothy Mooney was enjoying a colourful day in Flemington’s Birdcage during the race that stops the nation, enthusiastically collecting selfies with a variety of celebrities and occasionally posting them on social media alongside hilariously original captions like this one…

However, things took a curious turn on Wednesday morning when the Daily Mail published an article containing numerous images of Mooney with the recently separated Nadia Bartel, entitled Nadia Bartel poses for happy snaps with a male companion at the Melbourne Cup.

Including such insightful quotes as “The statuesque former model nestled into the well-dressed man’s shoulder as they took several selfies together” and “She was also seen throwing her head back in a fit of laughter during a friendly conversation with the man”.

Leveraging journalistic skills well beyond The Watsonia Bugle’s humble means, the Daily Mail then published additional photos of the two race track revellers, while failing to mention the prominent wedding ring on Mooney’s finger. In fact, Mooney’s happily married wife was forced to hastily defend her marriage on Facebook yesterday afternoon, attempting to hose down the rampant news spreading across the Interwebs about a tangled love triangle containing Nadia and the two most important men in her life: Tim and Jim.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Timothy Mooney attempted to confirm that nothing untoward had taken place on Cup Day. In an official statement, Mooney said, “I would like to confirm that nothing is happening between Nadia Bartel and me. In fact, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know my name. What happened on Cup Day was yet another example of my rampant addiction for getting selfies with celebrities when I see them out and about. I’m aware of my problem, and I will seek treatment when the time is right.”