As another storm threatens to batter Watsonia and surrounding areas, a local meteorologist has confirmed that golf balls continue to be the metric of choice for explaining just how big hail stones are on any given occasion. Professor Gavin Pollard confirmed that despite rigourous testing over multiple decades, golf balls seemed to be the most relatable comparison, and made for very clickable headlines for online news outlets.
According to Professor Pollard, “Over the centuries, fruit tended to be the measurement of choice. But thanks to the advent of improved irrigation, not to mention genetic modification, the size of a specific fruit can fluctuate enormously, which essentially renders them useless as a unit of measurement. The beauty of the humble golf ball is that it comes in a universal size. And even if it gets wet it doesn’t really swell. It’s very reliable in that sense.”
Pollard also suggested that the general population had become conditioned to comparing hail stones to golf balls. He said, “It’s a learned behaviour. Although, I think a few of those fear-mongers on social media need to wander into their garage and rummage around in the bottom of their golf bag for a reminder on just how big a golf ball is. Society these days tends to add a fair bit of mayo to things, and if I see anyone overstating things on Facebook or Twitter this afternoon I’ll be calling them out.”
The Watsonia Bugle 