Local man honestly can’t remember the last time he ate a sausage in bread

A local man says he honestly can’t remember the last time he ate a sausage in bread, and he’s not bloody happy about it, alright. Mark Lewis is blaming the loss of his two major sausage in bread suppliers – Bunnings and junior sport – plus the onset of winter for the dire situation, claiming he might fire up the barbie one night this week just to get his fix.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about the predicament, Lewis said, “All of my major suppliers have disappeared. On a good day, I’d knock a few off at Saturday morning Auskick, then reload in the arvo when I dropped into Bunnings. But that’s just not possible in this post-COVID existence, and I’m not happy about it.”

Lewis the conceded that at the peak of his pre-COVID life he took the regular supply of sausages for granted. He said, “Yep, yeah, definitely. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but there were times when I went to Bunnings and grabbed a couple of snags just to prove my Australianess. I wasn’t even hungry, mate. But I did it. Now, I yearn for that feeling. I took it for granted mate, and that’s the real tragedy.”