An AFL Grand Final Parade held along Cavill Avenue in Surfers Paradise earlier today was reportedly met with indifference by locals, with many reportedly unaccustomed to seeing professional athletes on the popular boulevard at that time of the day. In fact, some visitors to the beachside main street were upset by the intrusion, with more than one passerby bluntly suggesting the players should piss off back to Victoriaonavirus.

Players from both Richmond and Geelong were loaded into the back of branded cars in an attempt to continue the long and proud tradition of parading the Grand Final participants in front of their adoring fans, the event taking place on Thursday instead of Friday to mirror the odd shift of Brownlow night to one day earlier in the week.

One anonymous Gold Coast local was heard saying, “I haven’t seen any Richmond players down here this early in the day, or should I say this late in the morning. Apart from that, I couldn’t care less about this aerial ping pong crap. The sooner they all fly back to Melbourne the better.”