COVIDSafe rules for community sport have allegedly put a beloved local cricket tradition on the endangered species list, potentially killing off decades of history. An inside source from one local club has contacted The Watsonia Bugle to share concerns that new rules governing the sharing of food amongst players will effectively spell the end for the age-old custom of bringing BBQ Shapes for afternoon tea.

The anonymous figure said, “This rips at the fabric of local cricket. If I can’t stick my sweaty hand into a communal packet of BBQ Shapes on the arvo tea table, I don’t know if I even want to still be playing cricket, to be honest. It means that much to me. Once you start surrendering these little rituals, the whole experience loses its lustre, and you eventually start sacrificing even bigger things, like communal Vaseline tubs in the changerooms.”

However, not all local cricketers are on the same page as our anonymous insider, with many claiming this was the circuit breaker that cricket afternoon teas had been crying out for for years. When contacted about the issue, Watsonia Wombats opening batsman Jordan Miller said, “This will force the hand of my lazier teammates. Bringing a token box of BBQ Shapes to the table is about as half-arsed as it gets. It’s about time it gets outlawed. My teammates need to lift their game, and start bringing plates of freshly-made sandwiches for everyone. I mean, I have to drive past my mum’s house every Saturday morning to pick them up. That kind of commitment takes discipline and sacrifice.”