Self-ordained “Diamond Valley Celebrity” says everyone knows who she is

A local woman has controversially self-ordained the coveted “Diamond Valley Celebrity” status upon herself, stating that “everyone” knows her, and she can’t walk more than five metres inside Greensborough Plaza without someone stopping to say hello. Watsonia’s very own Sara Beers also claimed she’s on first name basis with the vast majority of local residents – a whole other level of celebrity status normally saved for global figures like Cher, Elle, Kylie and Beyonce.

In a wide-ranging interview with The Watsonia Bugle, Beers said, “I’m not even trying to be cocky about it. It’s just the truth. Everyone knows me. I’m not sure what it is, maybe it’s just my magnetic personality and elite ability to connect with other human beings. You should see me at a wedding where two Diamond Valley people are getting married. I’m unstoppable. Even the people that don’t know me, they always stop and ask ‘Do I know you from somewhere?’. By the time those convos have ended, we’ve worked out that we go to Bakers Delight at the same time on a Saturday morning or something like that. Without fail. And if it’s the bride’s grandmother who lives interstate, she’ll often say ‘Oh yes, you’re Sara, I’ve heard all about you’. No jokes.”

In Beers’ defence, there is currently no official panel that decides who is and isn’t a Diamond Valley celebrity, but the lofty status is normally reserved for local sports heroes, former child stars, prominent shop keepers, and Gary Eastwood.

Interestingly, an anonymous friend of Beers separately contacted The Watsonia Bugle to mildly contest the self-proclaimed local celebrity status, but eventually ended up agreeing with it. The friend started by saying, “It’s a bit ridiculous really, when she first claimed to be a DV celeb, I thought she was full of it, but literally within 10 minutes of her saying it, someone stopped us on Watsonia Road and said, ‘Oh, hello Sara’, before just looking at me and only nodding. It was like I was invisible. And I’d met that person before on multiple occasions. It was remarkable. I couldn’t even get mad, really. I was just impressed.”