A local creep remains disturbingly insistent that the seat warmers stay on in his car… at all times. Callum Fraser has been concerning his friends for some time now, but this week was the first time one of them contacted The Watsonia Bugle in an attempt to publicly shame him into changing his behaviour.

Despite the fact this time of year presents prime seat-warming weather, the anonymous friend believes Fraser’s year-round insistence is preventing him from building meaningful relationships with the people around him. The well-meaning friend said, “Look, it’s all well and good popping the seat warmer on in the depths of winter, but Callum runs his all year. And it’s not just that, he has this weird obsession with it. Like he holds eye contact for an uncomfortable length of time while saying, ‘How good’s that mate? Feel the warmth, bro.’ It’s just too much. Very off-putting.”

When contacted by The Watsonia Bugle for his side of the story, Fraser seemed genuinely blindsided. He said, “What’s the big deal? That technology was invented for a reason. I like the feeling of having a warm rump. Sue me.”