A socially inept train commuter has this afternoon pushed to the front of the platform as their train arrived at Flinders Street Station. Seemingly unaware of the age-old convention of queuing up for things, the passenger muscled their way through numerous people who’d be patiently standing towards the front for up to 10 minutes.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about the incident, one such patient passenger said, “What is it about standing on a train platform that makes people think the normal rules of queuing don’t apply? I don’t stand right up on the yellow line and in the exact spot where the door normally stops just for shits and giggles. I’m a seasoned train traveller, and if others aren’t as savvy, that’s their problem, not mine.”

The disgruntled man then suggested a rogue solution to the problem. He said, “You know those real busy cities overseas where they have staff on the train station to push people into packed trains? They should have the reverse in Melbourne. Staff that monitor doors to see who’s cutting the line, and then physically push them right back to the end of each queue.”