As the good people of Watsonia continue to wait with general indifference for the overdue completion of our new town square, a poorly hidden clue has accidently revealed a so-far unpublicised feature of the design. Fast food aficionados across the region are claiming that the yellowy-orange arch currently seen outside the library is actually an incomplete Golden Arch, meaning the glitter strip of Watsonia Road is about to get its very own McDonald’s family restaurant. 

If true, the town square Maccas would fulfill a prophecy first earmarked here by The Watsonia Bugle a couple of years ago, in which case we’ll happily accept any owed royalties via a lifetime supply of chicken nuggets. However, not all locals seem convinced that the partially-complete art installation is a sign of bigger things to come. 

When we canvassed local opinion earlier today, multiple theories were aired by people wandering through the central business district of Watsonia. Among the wilder suggestions were that it’s an elaborate frame for a swing, a new “Gateway to the North”, or a place to punish library members after they return overdue books.  

But we’ll give the last word to long-time Watsonia resident Darren Klopman who said, “Who cares what it is, those dickheads that designed the stupid town square should’ve just given us what we really want: the giant bloody dim sim. Seriously! Give the people what they want, and we’ll never make a single complaint about North East Link turning our home into a perpetual state of roadworks for a whole decade.”