Following an extensive review of the matter, we’re able to exclusively reveal that it’s official: they should’ve just built the giant dim sim we all wanted, instead of building this nonsensical town square that’s taken well over two years to create… and still isn’t finished! Call it sour grapes on our behalf, but we still feel that millions of dollars could’ve been saved by just erecting an oversized dim sim with a generous drizzling of soy sauce cascading from the top. 

For those new to The Watsonia Bugle, the concept of installing a giant dim sim in our suburb’s central business district was first floated all the way back in 2017. The aim was to not only pay homage to the Noodle Station’s world-renowned dimmies, but to also continue the proud Australian tradition of building gigantic objects and calling them tourist attractions. 

So, of course, when news broke that our suburb would be getting a fancy new town square to somewhat sweeten the deal of having Watsonia turned into a roadworks hub for a decade, we suggested that a giant dim sim would be the perfect centrepiece. Alas, this suggestion fell on deaf ears. And that rejection has been acutely felt every day for the last two years when we drive or walk past the seemingly infinite town square “construction” zone. 

At the end of the day, how better to compensate a suburb’s residents for putting up with never ending roadworks in their area than by giving them more roadworks and construction sites? It’s enough to make the disgruntled editor of a local satirical newspaper dust off the keyboard and get a bit verbose.