A Melbourne-based Warwick Capper impersonator has hung up the tight shorts after realising that the real Warwick Capper is actually a better parody of the former goal-kicking star and diverse entertainer. While the real Capper has consistently pulled enough publicity stunts in recent years to not warrant an over-the-top impersonator, it has been two specific events in the past month that have forced Watsonia man Rick Jennings to return to the security of his desk job.

The first incident was Capper’s appearance on the evening news responding to claims that current Collingwood player Jeremy Howe is the greatest aerialist in footy history. Capper’s animated rebuttal of the claims, and simultaneous promotion of his own range of wine, drew plaudits from across Australia. According to Jennings, “I mean did you see it? It looked like he’d downed about five bottles of his ‘Warwick Capper Legends Shiraz’. Even at my dramatic best I can’t match those kind of theatrics.” 

About a month later, it was reported that the real Capper got stuck in the staircase of a Perth hotel, and Capper’s comments about the ordeal convinced Jennings that he will never be able to send up ‘The Wizard’. Capper said he thought he was going to die, but “I can’t die in a stairwell in Perth. I’m a star … It’s very unsatisfactory.”

While Jennings was initially disappointed by his forced retirement, he has come to accept that it’s probably for the best. He told The Watsonia Bugle, “I’ve had a few days to digest my decision and realise it’s probably for the best. Juggling the dizzying highs of life as the Wizard with the rest of my otherwise mundane life was becoming increasingly difficult.”