A recent survey conducted by the Australian Bottle Shop Employees Association (ABSEA) has revealed that men who carry slabs of beer over their shoulder are more alpha than you you craft beer sipping wuss. The survey polled over 4,000 Bottle Shop employees across the nation, with 97 respondents saying that carrying a slab over your shoulder is a key indicator of alphaness.
While the practice of carrying a heavy object above your shoulders and on only one side of your body puts excessive stress on the lumbar spine and all of the associated muscles in that area, alphas apparently don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff because they’re so incredibly alpha.
Speaking outside of Watsonia Liquorland, while carrying a slab of Carlton Draught on his shoulder across Watsonia Road to his ute, Brad Campbell said “it’s the only way to carry ya beer mate. I can’t explain why, it’s just how it has to be done.”