Rumour of a Spice Girls reunion next year has revived a middle-aged Macleod man’s difficult conundrum about which one he most wants to get with. While the ravages of time have somewhat changed Pete Hamilton’s preferences, it hasn’t made the selection process any easier for him.

Like most heterosexual male teenagers in the 1990s, Hamilton was a secret fan of the girl group, although more for their appearance than their musical catalogue. Hamilton and his friends spent many hours discussing the pros and cons of each member of the Spice Girls, in the totally unlikely event that they met the group and were given the option of engaging in sexual congress with just one member.

After hearing the news of a potential Spice Girls reunion this morning on breakfast television, Hamilton spent the vast majority of today reevaluating his hypothetical selection. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle he said, “The day has been a bit of a write off to be honest, I didn’t get much work done in the office. I utilised Google images to aid the decision making but probably changed my mind at least 17 times throughout the day. There are just so many variables. I can’t wait to catch up with the boys for a few beers to discuss the topic in more detail.”