A Greensborough-based KFC devotee has moved swiftly to stock up on supplies as news spreads that up to 700 KFC stores in the United Kingdom have temporarily closed due to supply chain issues. Brent Stanley said he felt shivers down his spine when he read the plight of fast food fans in the UK, and wanted to guarantee that he wouldn’t suffer a similar injustice.

Supposedly addicted to the secret 11 herbs and spices, Stanley hit a number of KFC stores in the local area last night to stockpile on his favourite food. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle this morning, he said, “Ain’t no way that shortage is gunna get to me like it has to the Poms. So last night I went around buying up all the 3-piece feeds and potato and gravy that I could carry. The big freezer in my garage is now full to the brim with KFC.”

When questioned about the palatability of frozen and then re-heated KFC products, Stanley simply said, “I just can’t leave this kind of thing to chance. It probably won’t taste as good when I re-heat it, but I can’t live without that stuff.” Stanley even said that he had filled his pockets with refresher towels in anticipation of a potential KFC armageddon. He said, “People say you can just use baby wipes, but people don’t know what they’re talking about.”