In the wake of a Chinese newspaper reportedly telling its single female readers to stop aiming so high in their search for a soul mate, The Watsonia Bugle has decided to empower the single women of the Diamond Valley and encourage them to keep shooting for the stars. After all, as the saying goes, even if you miss the stars you might still end up on the moon, and that would be pretty cool, right?

In what could just be a lazy English translation of an article in the Sichuan Daily, single female readers have been told, “Change your attitude, return to reality. Maybe there’ll be some imperfection, but your life will be full for it.” Amongst some other absolute gems of advice, the Sichuan Daily also said, “Marriage is a process of tolerating each other, and it’s impossible that everything goes your way”. In isolation this is actually very sound advice, but the article also referred to single women in their late-20s as “leftovers” who should just “settle for a ‘more or less OK’ person”.

Watsonia singleton Lili Frampton was horrified by the sentiments expressed in the article, telling The Watsonia Bugle, “If I settled for a ‘more or less OK’ bloke in the Diamond Valley I’d end up with a guy who spends every Friday night at the Lower, owns a pair of ‘going out trakky dacks’, refers to bourbon as ‘the nectar of the gods’, and considers a visit to Greensy Hoyts as a viable first date option. What a bloody joke.”