A seventh generation Aussie has performed a stunning about turn in preparation for this week’s World Cup semi-final between England and Croatia, pointing out to anyone who’ll listen that he’s actually got English ancestry. While Chris Blake has spent most of his 37 years on this earth criticising all English national sporting teams and sending hateful tweets to Stuart Broad every so often, he’s now officially on board the bandwagon.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Blake said, “What can I say mate? I mean, I’m glad one of me ancestors stole that loaf of bread all those years ago. Australia really is the lucky country. But we suck at soccer. So for the next week I’m gunna be a Pom. It’s coming home mate. It’s coming home.”

While Blake has obviously made peace with his decision, his close circle of friends have not. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one friend said, “He’s kidding himself isn’t he? He’s claiming this long lost ancestry, gone and bought himself an England shirt, and I reckon he’s even changed his accent a bit. I hope Croatia thrash them.”

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