A local man has reportedly withdrawn himself from public society for the remainder of winter having not been seen by his friends for almost three weeks now. Dave Camden was last seen on a night out in late May, before presumably entering a self-imposed period of hibernation, much to the chagrin of his close circle of friends.

One of these friends, who requested strict anonymity, contacted The Watsonia Bugle to say, “Dave’s just disappeared mate, haven’t seen him for over a month. I don’t know what’s happened. He’s never done this before and, to be honest, I’m just worried about when I’m going to see him again. I can’t wait until late August. I need to smash some piss with him ASAP.”

When contacted by the Bugle, Camden refused to go on the record, insisting that it was a free country and he’d do what he wanted to do for the remainder of winter. Meanwhile, his anonymous friend said, “It’s bloody typical of him mate. What about me? I need a wingman out there. And Dave’s the best wingman I’ve ever had. I just want him to pull his finger out mate!”

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