As news broke this morning of a likely merger between Channel 9 and Fairfax, for some reason The Watsonia Bugle has been excluded from the creation of what would become Australia’s largest media organisation. As whispers about a potential merger grew louder in recent weeks, we patiently waited by the phone, even answering calls from unknown numbers.

Alas, neither of the merging companies made contact with The Watsonia Bugle, leaving us to continue on the local news beat, bringing you the stories that really matter. While the Bugle is yet to erect a paywall, or broadcast a reality television show, we kind of felt that maybe we would’ve been a good fit for the new super company.

One Bugle insider told himself, “I kind of like that we’re independent but, you know, it would also be nice to order extras at breakfast without worrying about the severe financial implications of such extravagance. And have you seen the price of petrol in Watsonia? No wonder the editorial team has gone a bit pro-cycling recently.”