Now that his dirty laundry is being aired in public, Peter Dutton is reportedly low key regretting mounting a Liberal Party leadership challenge a couple of weeks ago. While Dutton himself won’t return our calls, a source very close to him has told The Watsonia Bugle that he wasn’t expecting the spotlight to fall on his past following the failed attempt to become Prime Minister.

The source said, “Yeah mate, he’s regretting it for sure. He probs should’ve kept his backyard a bit cleaner before putting his hand up a couple of weeks ago. We all make mistakes, but he seems to have made more than others.”

As the spotlight fell on Dutton’s side business of clearing international au pairs for his rich buddies, the source claims Dutton was surprised by the attention on his supposed “side hustle”. The source claimed, “One of the knocks on Pete, and plenty of other politicians for that matter, is that he’s not very relatable to the commoners. He honestly felt that having a side hustle would make him more relatable to the average Jos and Joannes.

“He just didn’t realise that the side business he chose couldn’t be less relatable to most suburban parents. I mean, most of the nation was busy Googling the term ‘au pair’ in between working hard to pay their usual bills and coordinate childcare drop offs and picks ups. So, the concept of having a government minister on speed dial to expedite the arrival of your own personal nanny that you’ve flown in from overseas was a bridge too far for most.”