A local cricketer opened his kit bag at his first pre-season session this morning to uncover a mouldy set of whites that had been festering all winter after being left there after the final game of last season. In addition to the unsightly mould growing all over his shirt and pants, the whites gave off a confronting and pungent scent that triggered guffaws and howls of disgust from his teammates.

The man spent the majority if his warm up at the session contemplating whether the whites would be retrievable from their neglected state, wavering between throwing them directly in the bin, or allowing them to soak in Napisan for a few days. He eventually decided to give them a good soaking as soon as he got home, telling teammates, “Yeah, I’ll just give them to the missus when I get home and she’ll sort it out”, despite knowing full well that his girlfriend would not be touching the soiled clothing.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle after the session, the man said, “Look, I really don’t know how I forgot them. I’ve done this a few times before so you’d think I’d learn, but the reality is the last game of the season always ends in a beer-infused stupor, and then the next day I always just chuck me kit bag in the garage and sit on the couch eating KFC, contemplating yet another disappointing batting average and a wasted summer.”