A local parent tried but failed to stay awake for the entirety of last night’s Brownlow Medal telecast. Watsonia father of two, Sam Clancy, didn’t make it past Round 9, before falling asleep on his couch and waking up at 2.00am in a terrible state of confusion.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle this morning about his failure, Clancy said, “I tried man, I really did. Back in the day, Brownlow Night was one of the biggest nights on me social calendar. All the boys would come around for a few tins, we’d all pick a few players each and drink when those players got a vote. You know, it was awesome.”

Despite such a rich history of binge drinking, Clancy was unable to reproduce such an evening of pure fun. He said, “Once the kids went to bed, I lay on the couch for a bit, and just wondered why the whole thing was taking so long. I couldn’t give a stuff what some footy chick was wearing on the red carpet. Mate, even Clarko fell asleep in the end, and one of his players won the bloody thing!”