A local man is reportedly considering attempting Ocsober after a particularly heavy grand final weekend just gone. Brett Shelton went pretty hard from Thursday night through to last night, then woke this morning with a severely dry mouth and a low appetite for work today.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Shelton said, “Mate, it was a big three days in the end, so I think I actually heard my liver cry for help this morning. I reckon I won’t feel like a beer again until Friday at the earliest, so that’ll be the first five days of the month easy done.”

While Shelton said he’d never before considered attempting such a month of abstinence, the weekend had really pushed him to the edge. He said, “Yeah mate, never given Febfast a second thought. February is such a good month to tip a few in. But seriously, I need to start looking at my life choices.”