Following an article/informercial that could become the activated almonds incident of 2018, a global bank has revealed just how out of touch big banks are with the general population. In an “Executive Life” feature that first appeared on Business Insider yesterday, a HSBC executive has revealed a day in her life, complete with early morning meditation, 7.30am tennis match, hour and a half lunch break staring at the sea, podcast listening, volunteer work, and romantic night time strolls through tree-lined streets.

In what is presumably an advertorial promoting the joy of working at HSBC, the article conveniently omits many of the struggles of leading a modern life. How the executive, Melania Edwards, finds time in her day to complete all these activities, not to mention taking stylised photos of each activity for our viewing pleasure, remains unknown. However, local professional Rebecca Finlayson is calling bullshit on the whole thing, telling The Watsonia Bugle that the elongated lunch break was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel’s back.

Finlayson said, “The whole thing is fanciful if you ask me. I was calling bullshit on the 7.30am hit of tennis, in full sunlight no less, but by the time I got to her lunch break I broke into fits of uncontrollable laughter. It’s like the whole thing’s been dreamt up by some 19-year-old university student that has absolutely no idea how the real world operates. No offence to you guys at the Bugle, but the article is funnier than anything you guys could ever dream up.”