A local cricketer, who will remain anonymous, missed an all-important training session last night for a seemingly decent, but ultimately invalid, reason. The man texted his captain at about 2.30pm yesterday saying, “Sorry Skip, something’s come up at work so I’ll be stuck here till late tonight and can’t make it to training. See you Saturday.”

While this seems reasonable enough, the “something” that came up at work was actually a few colleagues on the tail end of a long lunch with access to a company credit card. The recalcitrant cricketer joined them at around 4.00pm and they drank their way into the night, barely making it into work this morning.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle from his desk this morning, the cricketer said, “I’m struggling today, but these kind of opportunities don’t come along every day. And I don’t mind lying to the skipper anyway. Last Saturday he told me to warm up because I’d be bowling next, but I never actually did get a bowl, so he can get stuffed!”