A middle aged father of three has surprised his wife of 10 years by singing an Eminem song word-for-word on the dance floor at a relative’s 21st last night. The local man, James Collins, was on the dance floor with his wife enjoying a night away from their young kids when the opening strains of “The Real Slim Shady” started playing, and James lost himself in the music.
The next four and a half minutes consisted mainly of James hopping around the dance floor, throwing his arms back and forth, and spitting the rhyme word-for-word while young millennials stood around in shock at the sight of a slightly overweight bald man embarrassing himself in public. When the song finally stopped, silence descended on the now sparse dance floor, and James’s wife Rebecca left the room to get another drink.
Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about the incident, Rebecca said, “I’ve just never seen that side of him. He became a stranger to me. Has this angry little white man been hiding inside of him this whole time? He said he was into Eminem back in his early-20s, way before we’d even met. How did he keep this secret from me?”
James was unavailable for comment.