A Nillumbik dog has miraculously claimed that his owner loves him more because registration fees in the region are up to $100 more per year than in other local councils. The dog, which spoke to The Watsonia Bugle via a local dog whisperer, believes that other pets simply aren’t loved as much as Nillumbik pets, sparking angry reactions from some supposedly unloved Banyule furry friends.

While the inflated annual registration fee is presumably to fund the kind of happy and smart lifestyle afforded to all Nillumbik residents, this particular dog insists it’s proof that his owner loves him the mostest. The Nillumbik pooch, who pathetically requested anonymity, told us, “My owner obviously just loves me more, that’s the only explanation I can think of. Why else would he be willing to pay so much more to keep me? Them Banyule dogs aren’t loved anywhere near as much as me and me Nillumbik mates.”

In response to the baseless claims, a Banyule dog, also speaking via the local dog whisperer, told us, “Who said that? What’s his name? Where he live? If I see him prancing around one of them fancy Nillumbik dog parks I’ll bloody belt him.”