The proud residents of Tasmania have again been dealt a cruel blow after their state was noticeably excluded from the new Vegemite Shapes that are sweeping the rest of the nation. The new Vegemite and cheese Shapes have been crafted onto a biscuit in the shape of the map of Australia, expect that the island state of Tasmania is nowhere to be seen.
While many Taswegians have become reluctantly accepting of their regular omissions from celebrations of Australiana, the latest snub has reportedly strengthened the recent push for Tasmania to break away and become its own independent nation. While such a bold move would involve many layers of complexity, residents of the Apple Isle are clearly angered by the new Vegemite Shapes.
One such resident, Larry Carlson told The Watsonia Bugle, “It’s just typical of you mainlanders. We’re part of Australia too you know, so why can’t we be added to the Vegemite biscuit? Maybe we should just cut ties with you all and become our own nation. The Hobart Hurricanes are on the top of the Big Bash table, we’ve got the Cadbury factory, a few decent breweries, MONA, you name it, we’ve got it. We don’t need youse and your discriminating biscuits. Youse can get stuffed.”