A local quiche eater has staunchly defended his right to be called a “real man”, standing bravely in the face of constant inferences and innuendos put forward by his friends and family. The long-held theory that “Real men don’t eat quiche” was first popularised by a satirical book of the same name that was first published in 1982.

Watsonia man Tom Flanagan says he’s sick and tired of the constant whispering and insinuation that goes on behind his back, telling The Watsonia Bugle that he “should be able to sit and enjoy a nice succulent quiche in peace without having to fend off an ongoing commentary about my masculinity or lack thereof”. He also said, “I mean, it’s 2019. Surely we’ve evolved far enough in our understanding of gender constraints for me to sit and enjoy my pie omelet in peace? Get with the times, people.”

However, Flanagan’s friends claim that he makes a bigger issue of than any of them do. One unnamed friend said, “We used to get stuck into him about it back in the 2000s, but we’ve kind of all moved on now. Most of the time it’s actually him who brings it up, and then we’re kind of drawn into lightly razzing him about it, but it lost its true lustre ages ago.”