The Diamond Valley’s most famous anti-vegan campaigner, known simply as “Megan”, has reportedly booked a last-minute flight to fly to Sydney this morning to confront a vegan protest in the Pitt Street Mall. The stunt, organised and promoted by PETA, will involve the barbequing of a dog in one of Australia’s busiest shopping malls.

While the actual ‘dog’ is just a fake, produced by a prop maker, the planned protest has already received national headlines. The provocative protest is aimed at illustrating that while we don’t tend to eat dogs, they are no different to the lambs, cows, or any other animal that we seem happy to consume on a regular basis.

Exactly what Megan plans on doing to presumably counteract the explosive rally remains unclear, but sources at Melbourne Airport confirmed that a young woman was stopped in the departure lounge this morning and asked to surrender a bag full of paint spray cans. The source said, “I don’t know if it was the Megan, I mean, not many people know who she really is, but I reckon it probably was. I’m guessing the first thing she’ll do when she gets to Sydney is buy more spray cans, and then head straight to Pitt Street. She had a return flight booked for this afternoon, so evidence is fairly damning.”