With news breaking today that the beloved Polly Waffle chocolate bar is making a comeback, swimming pools across the nation are bracing for the potential return, such is the treat’s resemblance to a log of poo when it is immersed in water. South Australian confectioners Robern Menz announced the exciting return today, after recently acquiring the rights to make the popular bar that hasn’t been in production for a decade.

Despite a mostly positive response to the announcement amongst chocolate bar enthusiasts, public pool lifeguards are reportedly fearful of the return, wary of hilarious pranksters who will, no doubt, be tempted to drop a Polly Waffle into a pool and watch on as madness ensues, Caddyshack style. In fact, one concerned lifeguard from a local swimming pool contacted The Watsonia Bugle to share her concerns.

The guard, who requested strict anonymity, told us, “It’s a genuine concern. Throughout summer I live in fear that some halfwit is going to pull a similar prank. And there are already plenty of poo-looking bars they could use. Like a Picnic or a Boost. But, in Australian culture, the Polly Waffle is just synonymous with a floating nugget. So, once they hit shelves I’m almost certain that your average prankster just won’t be able to help themselves. To be honest, the stress surrounding this could drive me out of the lifeguarding industry.”

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