The oft-posed question “Hot enough for ya?” has been confirmed as merely a rhetorical question and, therefore, does not require an actual answer. This stunning conclusion was reached by a behavioural scientist from a local university who recorded hundreds of conversations over a three-year period to prove his point that the question is stupid, and plays no useful role in society.

Professor Glenn Harford used covert recording equipment in a variety of social settings to prove his hypothesis, including retail stores, taxi cabs, building sites, office water coolers, public transport, and local cricket matches. The overwhelming conclusion was that attempting to ascertain if extremely warm weather is hot enough for a particular individual is a pointless exercise.

In an exclusive interview with The Watsonia Bugle to discuss the findings of his study, Professor Harford said, “I kind of knew it all along, but I just wanted some science to back it up. It’s just about the stupidest question you can ask a person, especially this week in Melbourne. So, it doesn’t require a verbal response. In fact, the only decent response to that question is to punch the asker in the face.”

The study included extensive surveying of over 50 service workers to gauge what their thoughts were on being asked the question. Professor Harford said, “We polled couriers, posties, tradies, bus drivers, and lollypop ladies. Almost every single one of them expressed displeasure at being asked the question, mainly due to the high repetition of it being asked, especially over summer.”