Debate is currently raging all over the nation regarding the correct pronunciation of the number zero. While linguists have maintained a reasonably silent rage over the increased use of the term “oh” to describe the number, a recent article on the issue has sparked lively discussion over dinner tables and water coolers all over Australia.

Traditionalists claim that saying “oh” instead of “zero” or “nought” is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with the world these days, while “oh” enthusiasts claim that their detractors should move with the times and tackle a more serious global issue. And as the debate continues to weave its way around the country, one local family seems to be right up to their necks in it.

The Harris family, of Watsonia, appear to be divided over the contentious issue, with family patriarch Donald leading the charge for “Team Zero”. In another The Watsonia Bugle exclusive, Donald told us, “It’s just plain wrong. My kids are all in their 20s now, and not one of them can see the logic behind me continuously corrected their constant ‘ohs’. I feel like all the money I spent on their education has been an absolute waste. I’ve gradually accepted some of their more insipid language faults over the years, you know, the ‘lols’ and that, but I’m drawing a line in the sand here. I think I’ll just try to wear them down. I figure if I aggressively correct them each time, they’ll eventually just give up.”