A local man experienced painful hand cramping while filling out a basic hand-written form yesterday afternoon, claiming it was so bad that he almost sought medical attention to relieve the symptoms. Danny Owen was about two thirds of the way through the five-page questionnaire when his right hand unexpectedly seized up, causing him to bellow in pain and abruptly drop the ballpoint pen that he had been using.

Reflecting on the ordeal a few hours later, Owen said, “Mate, I haven’t used a pen that much since my three-hour English exam about 20 years ago! Everything is online now, so while my texting thumb is fighting fit, my handwriting muscles are nowhere.”

Describing the painful experience as “shocking and confronting”, Owen claimed that he had to wait half an hour before he was able to complete the form. He said, “It was so embarrassing. I literally had to sit in that waiting room for a full half hour before I was able to gather the strength to hold the pen again and finish the form. What a joke I have become.”