A local cricketer is allegedly trying to weasel his way out of training this Thursday night because it’s Valentine’s Day and he’d promised his girlfriend that he’d take her out for dinner. Callum Blanch is expected to lay the groundwork for his absence at tonight’s training session, where teammates allege that Blanch will mention to the coach that he might have to work late on Thursday night.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle this morning, an anonymous teammate of Blanch’s said, “You can almost guarantee it. He started sweating it on Saturday night when the realised Valentine’s Day was falling on a training night, and you could almost hear the inner thoughts ticking over in his tiny little mind. I bet he mentions some work commitment to the coach tonight, and then he’ll text the coach at about 5.30 on Thursday arvo to say he can’t make it. There’s nothing surer.”

When contacted for comment, all Blanch said was, “Yeah, well it’s alright for the married blokes. They haven’t acknowledged Valentine’s Day for years. But this is my first one with the new missus. It’s hard to maintain a relationship in this current environment. I don’t think I can afford to skip V-Day just so I can stand in a net for six minutes while mild acquaintances hurl cricket balls at me and openly question my courage.”