A local man is currently contemplating whether he’s truly bored enough to settle into the couch for an evening of watching AFLX tonight. Darren Solomon was flicking through the channels after dinner and realised that he’s entered that strange time of the year when you have a Friday night to yourself in between the Big Bash and the commencement of the AFL season.

The overlords at Docklands even cleared the AFLW schedule for tonight’s round robin of modified footy, then wheeled out the financially-induced stars for a full week of media spruiking — imploring us all to tune in for tonight’s AFLX extravaganza. Unsurprisingly, the paid captains of tonight’s four teams have each mounted a strong defence of the beleaguered competition.

However, no amount of paid promotion managed to sway Solomon, who was last seen still frantically flipping between channels, openly considering whether he loves cricket enough to watch South Africa play a Test Match against Sri Lanka. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle just moments ago, Solomon said, “Mate, what a dilemma!? I honestly don’t know what to do. I know they’ve tarted it up a bit this year with four special teams, but do I really care? I’m just not sure that I do. Might flick it over to Netflix and watch that Fyre doco everyone’s talking about.”

When told that the Grand Final of the lightning premiership format didn’t commence until 9.57pm, Solomon almost fell off his chair. He then said, “10 o’clock? You’ve got to be kidding me! Are they serious? Haha, I’ll be long gone by then. Well, that settles it: I’m watching Netflix tonight!”