A local man has been accused of spending way too much time on his SuperCoach team selection this year, with friends and family reportedly on the verge of staging an intervention for the obsessed man. While Dave Nichols insists that he’s doing no more research than any other participant in his league, those close to him allege his attention to detail is bordering on unhealthy.

Nichols’ wife took the extraordinary step of contacting The Watsonia Bugle to voice her concerns, telling us that her husband of almost 10 years had become withdrawn and was spending way too much time online. She said, “At first I was worried that he was having an affair. He was on his phone constantly, and any time I came near him he would shield the phone screen from my view and act all weird. Turns out he just didn’t want me to see the players he was researching, because I’ve actually got a team in the same league as his.”

And it turns out that Nichols’ wife is not the only person to notice the dramatic change in his behaviour. Close friend, and long-time SuperCoach opponent, Brendan Daniels said, “We’ve been in the same league for years now, and Dave’s always been pretty terrible at it. Towards the end of last season, he started talking about how he was going to take it real seriously this year, and it seems he’s been true to his word. Maybe a little too true to his word, I reckon.”

Exactly what this additional research means for the perennially underachieving “Davo’s Devils” fantasy football team remains unclear, as most owners continue to finalise their squads in the coming weeks. While Nichols refused to speak to The Watsonia Bugle about the accusations of taking the competition too seriously, he did release the following statement from Davo’s Devils Football Club:

We have recently become aware of claims that our CEO, Team Manager and Head Coach Dave Nichols is being accused of going to extreme lengths to prepare for this year’s season. While we believe that most of the claims are false, we simply do not have the time available right now to address them publicly.

March is always a very busy time for SuperCoach teams, as work is done to finalise squads, analyse JLT form, and attend multiple club training sessions (often held during traditional work hours). This is all in addition to the usual admin of reading each club’s medical reports, scouring player social media accounts for insights into their current lifestyle choices, and the standard opposition analysis.

With so much currently on our plate, we have chosen to not dignify these absurd claims with a response right now. As they say in many sports, professional or otherwise, we will let our actions doing the talking when the league starts in earnest on Round 1. Until then, we thank you for your interest in our proud club, and look forward to the commencement of the season.