Local baristas were reportedly swamped with human interaction this morning as a global social media crash meant customers all over Melbourne had nothing else to do while they waited for their morning brew. As Facebook experienced its biggest ever outage, society teetered on the brink of collapse, with some emergency services forced to make public declarations discouraging people from calling Triple 0 to report the frightening lack of Facebook and Instagram.

And the ripple effect was felt by baristas all over Melbourne, as they were bombarded with the kind of small talk that flew over coffee machines over a decade ago. One such barista said, “It was really strange. At first we didn’t know about the outage, and I just thought people were a bit extra chatty for some reason. But after an hour of it I was done. There’s only so many times I can talk about the mornings getting colder, and daylight savings ending soon. If there’s an outage tomorrow I might quit before the end of my shift.”

However, not all baristas were against the heightened sense of community that comes with constant human interaction. One said, “It was actually quite nice. I have regular customers that I barely even speak to. But now I know that Steve has a pet cat called ‘Fluffy’. That was interesting. I always thought Steve was more of a dog person.”