A local cricketer is terribly upset after being tagged in multiple International Pie Day references on social media yesterday, in what he described as a “puerile” attack on multiple fronts. The man, who refused to give his name, said the tagging dominated his newsfeeds for most of yesterday and spread into this morning.

By the time he contacted The Watsonia Bugle, the self-professed “park cricketer and part-time bowler” estimated that teammates and friends had tagged him in at least 47 memes, photos or articles, leaving him to question his status at the local club of which he is a member. He said, “They’ve attacked from all fronts: Facebook, Insta, Twitter, I even copped one on LinkedIn. It’s puerile really, I’m an honest toiler, and I just don’t deserve this kind of insinuation and abuse.”

Following some of our best investigative journalism to date, we then searched online for one of the perpetrators who identifies on Facebook as “Wozza Wilson”, and staunchly defended the actions of both himself and his mates. He said, “Mate, he’s the biggest pie chucker in the comp, let alone just our team. He’s responsible for more lost balls at training than any bowler in the history of our club.”

When asked whether he was surprised by the ferocity of the victim’s response to the incessant tagging, Wozza said, “If only he delivered his bowling with the same amount of venom?! He’s shown more grit, planning and determination in his online responses this morning than he’s shown all bloody season with the ball.”