An idealistic local teen thinks that Australia should be more like some Scandinavian country that she’s never been to or lived in. Recently, Cara Hamilton has been overheard highlighting the positive features of countries such as Norway, Sweden and Finland, secretly hoping that nobody will further investigate any of her claims.

Known to start most of her sentences with “In Norway they…” or “Did you know that in Sweden…”, Hamilton is gradually starting to alienate her close circle of friends, so much so that one of the friends contacted The Watsonia Bugle to air her grievance. The unnamed friend told us, “At first it was kind of interesting, but now some of her claims are getting a bit fishy. I mean, surely Norway doesn’t offer free university education, pay every single citizen’s dental work, gift free puppies to every single nursing home resident, and have an elite cadre of porpoise masseuses who travel the world dishing out free relaxation massages to dolphins. Apart from being a bit fanciful, it’s not exactly fiscally responsible.”

While the friend insisted that she had started to challenge Hamilton, mostly on the basis of the “grass is always greener” theory, she said that all challenges so far have been met with stiff resistance. The friend said, “Cara’s very good at arguing her way out of corners. And often she’ll start dropping facts that I can’t really be bothered to Google, so I just try to change the subject.”