In an explosive revelation that is sure to bring relief to hundreds of thousands of people across the globe, a local man has claimed that alcohol provides temporary relief from severe back pain. Despite not possessing any medical qualifications, Watsonia man Daniel Ferguson says that consuming at least “three or four beers” provides more effective relief from acute back pain than any over-the-shelf medication he has tried before.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about his discovery, Ferguson said, “I’ve had a crook back since me early 20s, and I’ve tried just about every pain killer on the market. But I’m telling you, nothing beats a few stubbies for both loosening up any back stiffness and providing temporary relief from a sore back. No jokes.”

However, Ferguson also said that the hardest part of this pain treatment method was stopping drinking after the suggested dosage, as further drinking can actually exacerbate a back condition once the alcohol wears off. He said, “Yeah, that’s probably the only chink in the armour to be honest. And I’m yet to really nail the ability to cease the dosage after four beers. While the short-term relief is awesome, the next day can be a real nightmare. Having both a sore back and a sore head is never ideal.”